1. If there was a movie produced about your life who would play you and why?
Most people tell me I look like Tobey McGuire and/or Ryan Gosling, so I’d have to start there. I have no idea why since both are fair haired with light eyes, and I have a beard, which neither of those two nancy boys can grow. I’m also bald and not nearly as handsome, though my wife and my mom might argue otherwise.
2. What songs best describe your work ethic?
Hmm… “every day is exactly the same” by NIN would describe my work ENVIRONMENT, but my ethic would have to be Lover Boy’s “working for the weekend.” Why? I work FOR the weekend, not ON the weekend. Those days are mine, bitches. And also today is Friday and this song is perfect IDGAFF material.
3. A cat walks into the room wearing a leisure suit. What does he say and why is he here?
He says “ouch” because I hate cats and I kicked him just for being a cat. Also, he better do his best to explain why he is so leisurely as to be wearing a leisure suit. Why does he get to be at leisure? Fuck him.
4. If you could visit any place in the World, where would you go and why?
Italy, for good food, amazing historical objects, and beautiful sights.
5. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
Durian fruit in Vietnam. Smells like rotting garbage. Seriously. I dare you.
6. What are you reading now?
My email. Oh wait you mean like current books? Nothing because I’m trying to re-motivate myself to WRITE a few more of my own books. I write horror, sci-fi and fantasy novels as a hobby, along with a NYC steakhouse and restaurant review blog. I’m also a photographer. My hobbies keep me extremely busy, but I have read all 5 Game Of Thrones books recently.
7. If you could sit and chat with any historical figure who would it be and why
Bruce Lee, because he is my physical inspiration. Nicolai Tesla, because he is my mental inspiration. The US founding fathers because they are my political inspirations. And Jesus Christ, because He is my spiritual inspiration.
8. What would your slogan be for your life?
Life is not a bumper sticker phrase!
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Do I have to grow up? I’m 36 and I still have no idea. Closest thing I have to this would be eating and traveling for a living, or to do nothing and live off of a massive trust fund.
10. What is something no one knows about you?
If I tell you, then everyone will know. But the things everyone close to me knows are odd and fun, like when I was 5 years old, I only responded to the name Michael Jackson. It had to be the full name, first and last name combined. It was even on my 5th birthday cake. There are pictures.
11. What piece of art have you seen that moved you?
I‘m more moved by historical artifacts and architecture than paintings and the like. There’s so much shitty art out there that I sometimes get pissed off. But some of the most inspiring artists to me are the classics like Michaelangelo. I also like the bizarre and surreal like HR Giger and new artist Vincent Castiglia, who paints with his own blood.
12. What was the last thing you geeked out about?
Probably Star Wars or some constitutional legal issue. My old law school friends and I regularly debate that stuff via social media.
13. Name 5 things from your bucket list.
- Visit every major us city
- Visit every state
- Visit every country
- Walk on the moon
- Fly by the rings of Saturn and the Eye of Jupiter up close
14. If you could hear someone’s thoughts for one day who would it be and why
My own, because I want to know if my thoughts sound nasaly, or if my thoughts are in complete sentences.
15. If you were trapped in a TV for a month what show would you choose to be in and why?
Twilight Zone, because that’s the only one where this hypothetical situation would make any sense and be considered par for the course. I’d probably complain about the lack of color. Black and white is so racist. What about brown, yellow, red? And I would definitely be aware of Rod Serling. I would not pretend he wasn’t there talking to the cameras.